


I let you down

by Just_Call_Me_Floss



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Death, One Shot, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 10:34:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14591151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_Call_Me_Floss/pseuds/Just_Call_Me_Floss
Summary: Steve could somewhat register the rest of the world screaming behind him, but right now that didn’t matter





	I let you down

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS FOR INFINITY WAR

Shaking. Steve was shaking, still kneeling on the damp forest floor, but not really caring about the cold creeping into his bones. He was numb anyway, doubt he would feel it. His hand was still reaching out, fingers still pressed into the dust, but again, he was numb, so he didn’t feel anything. He suddenly felt like he was 90 pounds again, in the back alley behind Coopers Grocers, desperately wiping away the blood pouring out of Bucky’s broken nose.

That was the first fight Bucky had lost. Wasn’t his fault, not really, five against two wasn’t really fair, and Bucky had a broken nose and black eye for protecting Steve. But when it was important for Steve to protect Bucky, he couldn’t. He just watched him disappear into nothing. The confusion and fear in Bucky’s voice bounced around his head, the fact he called out for Steve in his last moments pierced Steve further. 

Steve could somewhat register the rest of the world screaming behind him, but right now that didn’t matter. It was unfair, he had just gotten him back, just got his life back, but now that was taken away from him so quickly. The thought in the war together, found each other centuries later, healed and hurt together, but again, it was just Steve alone in the world. The universe was unfair, Steve would do anything to swap places with Bucky, give him the chance to live his life.

Back then, back in Brooklyn, neither of them would’ve expected anything like this to happen. Steve wasn’t going to reach 30, Bucky was going to marry a dame and have three little rascals, and then go and visit Steve and his Ma every Sunday. That was the plan, the one that was meant to be, but instead, here he was. 

Thor slowly approached Steve, ducked low to be eye level, and Steve glanced up, face screwing up in pain as he realised that this was how it was going to be. Thor didn’t offer a pitiful smile, instead he let his own eyes closed and muttered a form of pray under his breath before pushing his way up, standing tall. Taking the offered hand of the god, Steve kept his right hand close to his chest, brushed his dirtied fingertips over his heart, and followed Thor to a clearing where the others were beginning to gather. The little number of those gathered was shocking, but Steve didn't give it much thought. He stumbled, legs still weak, to the monochrome body laying in the centre. Crouching low, Steve grabbed the shoulder with a weak hand, and pulled it over, to see the face. Vision. Steve let go and fell backwards, hard onto his backside. He didn’t have a body. He didn’t have a body to bury. He never had, the other times, but this one was final. A mad titan came and destroyed half the universe, turning them to dust. Steve didn’t know anyway of reversing it, and looking at the pale faces around him, neither did the others.

“Oh god.”

His voice broke into a whine, and he buried his head in between his knees, his breath laboured. His whole body was consumed by panic, ears ringing and stomach in a twist. He fell to his side, grabbing desperately at his head. He needed to feel something, anything, just to know that he was still there. Was it possible for him to disappear as well? Would that be better? Maybe he’d be with Bucky in an afterlife somewhere. But no, the world was still strong around him, he wasn’t going anywhere. He screamed, sobbed and begged, but nothing changed.

**Author's Note:**

> haha well that happened  
> I watched Infinity War 3 times within the first 3 days, and had to hold myself back from doing major spoilers.


End file.
